The Lesson My 13-Year-Old Taught Me About Leadership
This week, I want to share a moment that hit me hard — not as a marketer or mentor — but as a mom sitting in the front seat of my car, listening to a conversation that felt way too familiar.
It’s Natasha — your Self-Made CMO, sports mom in the trenches, and the girl who will always bring you the real, behind-the-scenes lessons from life, business, and everything in between.
And this one?
It applies to leadership, communication, and business growth more than most people realize.
🏀 My Oldest Is a Young Man of Few Words…
…until he’s wrestling with something deeper.
A couple weeks ago, we were driving home after one of Jacoby’s school ball games. He’s the starting point guard — a leader, elite-level athlete, and a kid who takes everything to heart because his motto is:
“Be better than I was yesterday.”
But that night?
He was frustrated beyond measure.
Even though they were up by 30+ points — Jacoby found himself sitting most of the second half. No injury. No foul trouble. No mistakes made.
Just… benched.
Now listen — we knew why.
The coach was giving other players more minutes because of the blowout lead — a common move in team sports.
But you know what wasn’t common?
Communication.
Jacoby had no idea why he was pulled.
There was no feedback.
No heads-up.
No encouragement.
So what did his 13-year-old perfectionist brain do?
He assumed the worst.
That he messed up.
That he wasn’t good enough.
That his coach had lost faith in him.
And let me tell you — as his mom, no pep talk from us was going to fix that internal narrative.
✉️ So I Sent an Email to the Coach
Not to complain.
But to shine a light.
I let him know Jacoby’s heart.
His mindset.
His leadership role.
His expectations of himself.
And how, with zero communication, he was left to assume something was wrong.
The coach responded with humility and grace.
He hadn’t realized how much weight Jacoby carried.
He hadn’t realized the impact of his silence.
And he promised to do better — not just with Jacoby, but with every kid riding that same mental rollercoaster.
💡 The Business Tie-In: Leadership Starts With Communication
Communication — even when you think it’s “obvious” — matters more than you know.
How many times do we assume our clients, customers, or team members already know the why?
Why something is delayed.
Why a process works that way.
Why you haven’t followed up.
Why you’re pushing them in a certain direction.
But without clear, kind communication — we leave people to fill in the blanks with fear.
And fear leads to:
Frustration
Withdrawal
Doubt
Lost trust
Lost loyalty
So whether you’re a coach, creator, CEO, or service-based business owner — don’t leave people guessing.
Feedback (even when it’s uncomfortable).
Encouragement (even when things are going well).
Clear expectations (especially in growth seasons).
They’re not optional.
They’re leadership.
📣 A Leadership Challenge for This Week
Take a moment to audit where you might be assuming too much.
Who needs a message from you?
Where can you bring clarity?
What unspoken expectations need to be brought into the light?
And if you’re ready to build a business where every touchpoint — emails, automations, DMs, onboarding, off-boarding, and team communication — feels aligned, connected, and clear…
You already know where to start.
Let’s build something that communicates, converts, and cares.
All in — on and off the court,
Natasha
Co-Founder & CMO
SELF-MADE
P.S. Communication doesn’t need to be perfect — just present. It’s not about having the right words. It’s about not staying silent when someone needs to hear from you.
